As one of my children paces circles around and around and around the kitchen island, I ask, “How’s the homework situation?” I ask. “Oh, I don’t really know,” they say. “I think I have a few missing assignments – maybe in Science?” I log on to check, and they have 9 missing assignments across all subject areas, I set him to task at the kitchen table, giving him short breaks as he works.
Meanwhile, my other child can’t find socks. I bend down to find 2 clean pairs, with more scattered across the floor, hiding under a drawing of a cat, and 2 dirty shirts. I look in her sock drawer and find 10 pairs.
My partner and I have a conversation about the week ahead when I remind him of two events on the calendar. This is the third time I have mentioned them, and they’ve been on the calendar for weeks. He slumps down and holds his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Bets,” he says. “I just completely forgot.”
In my family of four, three of us have ADHD, and my family is not alone. Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder affects millions of children and adults worldwide. Before my kids and partner were diagnosed, I lived a life of frustration, feeling like I was the only one who was aware of…well, anything.
Thankfully, we’ve learned things about living with ADHD, and that has improved the way we function, although we are a work in progress! Importantly, I realized that the hyperactivity, the inattention, the forgetting – are all common behaviors for ADHDers. It’s all a part of this neurodevelopmental disorder. None of my family were being forgetful or disorganized to annoy me; it’s just that their brains fire differently. They don’t like being impulsive or inattentive; in fact, these tendencies are challenging and frustrating for them, too.
One welcome shift to the neurodivergent world is the focus on strengths instead of deficits. For instance, people with ADHD have superpowers! Both of our kids find they can focus on what they enjoy for hours. One is extremely artistic and creative, and the other has a quick, quirky sense of humor, which keeps things light in times when we need it most. My partner is adaptive and flexible about all things- if plans need to change, he rolls with it. Plus, they’re all extremely empathetic, so they can use their powers for good.
Below are ways families and educators can support people with ADHD:
- People FIRST.
Always remember: ADHDers are people, first. They struggle with the disorder too, so gentle reminders and oversight are compassionate ways to support students.
- Lists are our friends.
We like a good list in our family, and this can apply to students, too. Make sure it’s short and prioritized- too many items can get distracting.
- Make things manageable.
Chunking larger tasks into smaller ones can help students feel more accomplished.
- Be a cheerleader.
ADHDers need encouragement in all aspects of their lives to know others understand them.
- Structure + Routine =
Maintain structure and routine as much as possible for predictable learning experience.
- Assistive technology
Use any needed technology or visual aids, and keep directions clear and to the point.
- Communication always.
To establish consistency, communicate with families and other teachers so the child with ADHD can expect similar experiences at home and school.
I still get frustrated sometimes when my family members miss things or get too distracted to complete tasks, but now I can react with compassion. I now know their need to feel cared for and seen for who they are, even with ADHD. Praising their superpowers and supporting them as they complete tasks has helped my family a great deal, and can help your work with students, too.
Looking for more strategies to help your ADHD students excel in the classroom? Check out our continuing education course 5207: ADHD: Focusing, Learning, Teaching for instructional strategies, modifications, and accommodations you can use with your ADHD learners.
About the Author
Betsy Butler (she/her) is a Professional Learning Specialist at Teaching Channel. She holds a B.A. in English, a Master’s in Education, and has been teaching since 1992. Betsy uses her three decades of teaching experience to write and revise our courses while selecting the perfect accompanying texts. Her specialty areas include ELA, special education topics, behavior management, and mental health.
Fun Fact: Betsy’s daily conquest is solving the New York Times crossword puzzle!
